It’s absolutely fantastic that I’m able to share my creative tutorials with the world, encourage others to embrace sustainable style and reach such a large audience, unfortunately becoming popular online also comes with its fair share of ew mixed in with lurv.
Here’s how I deal with it:
It is incredibly bizarre that so many people think it is completely acceptable to take out their aggressions on strangers on the internet. The unnecessary and ridiculous messages I receive are not always cruel in nature but they are most definitely aggressive, occur on daily basis and have included everything from disbelief that I am as “old as 41″ and demands of proof of my age to self-described helpful souls who just want to let me know that I’m too old to be doing this & look like a fool and even anonymous photos of hilariously ridiculous male genitalia – seriously men, it’s absurd to think your goofy tackle is photogenic.
Luckily I have a rather awesome sense of humour and most of time can easily have a laugh at the insanity. Such is life in the public eye of the internet – unsurprisingly a phenomenon that targets many more women online than men.
I do have my fair share of cruel comments, some days opening my e-mail is quite horrible, however all it really means is that I’m becoming more well-known online which is not a bad thing at all as my message is being seen & shared by enough people to start bringing the attention of those sad, lonely trolls who have nothing better to do but try to rip others apart with sh*tty anonymous comments to make themselves feel better about their own depressing lives. I simply don’t publish those hostile comments, answer the e-mails or respond to the messages left on my social media.
My blog is my home online and as I wouldn’t allow strangers to come into my house and shout hate at my face or wave their schlongs about I most certainly won’t let them do it on my Confessions of a Refashionista.
Mark Manson wrote an absolutely brilliant must-read article on the fine art of not giving a f*ck – read it:
So, how can you deal with the unwanted idiocy? By giving your own mental health & well-being priority and not giving a flying f*ck + throwing out a few mental one finger salutes when neccessary.
For some reason people online seem to be more eager to share their hostile disapproval than thoughtful encouragement, however a positive comment goes a long way to cancelling out the negative BS so give your fave bloggers a boost, it’s as easy as 1 – 2 – 3!
1. Comment. I don’t think there’s anyone online who doesn’t appreciate a kind comment, especially when so many of us are the victims of trolls. Let bloggers know that you enjoy what they do and acknowledge their hard work – it’s an awesome feeling to discover that our creativity and dedication is indeed helping others and not going unnoticed.
2. Like. It takes less than a second of your time to hit that little like button but it really does go a long way in this fast-paced online world and can even help push those all important behind the scenes stats!
3. Share the posts you love with your own online circles and encourage others to do the same.
With my behind the scenes of blogging series I hope to not only shed some honest light on the topic(s) for beginner-bloggers but also let readers know exactly what goes into creating the blogs they enjoy (& expect frequent new content from) yet somehow can’t find the time to let the people behind blogs know that they appreciate all of the hard work they do – for free.
LOL I may have to refer trolls to this page in the future. 😉 What a great blog! Congrats on your nomination in the Badass Blog Awards – well-deserved!
Cheers August! Trolls are unfortunately a ridiculous part of online popularity that we all could do without – a sense of humour is a definite must in this online life 😀
I had no idea I was even nominated for the award & (embarrassingly) this old gal had never heard of it – thanks for the heads up! 😉
Sheri, what has age got to do with anything…you could be 81 and fabulous!
My thoughts exactly but from the amount of insane messages I get from weirdos online my age & what I should & should not be doing is apparently a hot topic. The absolute best are the angry accusations that I’m “obviously younger” than I say I am & demands for “proof” that I am really 41. – I like to think of it as an aggressively bizarre compliment. 😉
Loved reading how you deal with just mean and nasty people. I read all your posts and enjoying trying more than a few. Age, really? I am 65 and making and wearing clothing remakes. Keep going !
Dianne , who is sending you a virtual bunch of roses
Cheers Dianne! Creative, unique, sustainable style has absolutely zero age restriction. (& anyone who thinks it does probably has a serious lack of originality and no personal style whatsoever) 😉
Thanks, that’s a really useful article. I got a lot out of the video link posted in Karen Ellis’s comment too.
This sort of shite is exactly why I totally backed out of any sort of ‘social’ media of any kind, and wouldn’t even make a comment on a blog. It was YOUR very blog that convinced me that these powers can be used for good as well as evil! (and now you can’t shut me up!) I’m sorry that you have to field all this crap, but thanks for looking after your blog so well, and for keeping it such a great place to be.
Thank YOU so much for your continued support and always relevant, interesting and oh-so-awesome comments! 😀 I am thrilled that the straight forward & honest approach I have with my writing and presentation allowed you to see that positive interaction does, in fact, have the power to completely obliterate the crazy negative BS that so many of us deal with on a daily basis! Keep being you and I’ll keep being me, babycakes! 😉
They are just jealous. Cause you are awesomely fabulous! !!!
Cheers Tina…I wonder what the motivations behind the dick-pics I get sent are though 😉
Maybe they are so awful they need a refashion?
Bwhahahahahahaha! Hilariousness! 😀
Haters gonna hate and assholes are just assholes… Sorry for the uglyness you have been sent. I enjoy reading all of your stuff
Cheers Mary, you’re absolutely spot on – there’s nothing at all that can be done to change assy haters so there’s no need to waste any time on them 😉
Love it and love the GIFS!
Thanks very much! Feel free to pinch a gif when you need to give someone a single finger salute! 😀
I think you are amazing, and who cares if you’re 14 or 41….you be you and continue to be fabulous.
You’ve brightened my day Tara! No worries, I shan’t be letting the ridiculous trolls get me down and will most certainly continue my Confessions of a Refashionista exactly as I am 😉
Good for you. I should have figured this out. Instead, I got fed up with it and took my blog down.
Well crap, that sucks. Seriously, learning to pick & choose what is actually important enough to really & truly give a f*ck about has helped me in both my online & “real” life – some days it’s still a struggle but as long as I manage to keep my head on straight the right decision will hit me eventually.
I have a trolling problem on a Facebook Group that i administrate. This TEDx talk really helped me get my head around my specific issue.
http://bigthink.com/videos/dont-feed-the-trolls
Definitely an interesting watch, thanks for the link. You should be able to block & report anyone displaying abusive behaviour on your facebook group.